It is very difficult for me these last few days..I am feeling guilty to be depressed at all. How can I, when a man gave me his kidney only two weeks ago tomorrow? But I am depressed, none the less.
The amount of drugs I am on, combined with the myriad of nasty side-effects, is unreal. The hardest of these side effects is that I now have a case of diabetes, brought on by two of the anti-rejection drugs. This means that I now have to take my blood sugar (by pricking my finger with a needle) 4 times per day, and inject insulin into my leg also about 4 times a day. When my blood sugar is elevated, I get nervous, hot and jittery, making putting a needle into my leg just about the most abhorrent thing I can imagine doing.
Also - this week has been rife with doctor's appointments, hardly the thing I want to be doing when I was expecting to be able to rest. I went yesterday to the transplant hospital, LUMC. I had blood drawn twice, as one of my veins 'froze' (probably in fear for its life!). I go today to a diabetic doctor at my regular hospital, thank goodness, as it's closer than LUMC. Then tomorrow back to LUMC. It's exhausting!
Meanwhile, poor Gary is back and forth to the apotheek (pharmacy), fetching numerous doses of drugs for me, and escorting me to the hospital, all on his days off work!
I am hopeful that things will eventually stabilize and I will be off the insulin, but I've had conflicting reports, which never helps.
Who would have thought that the dialysis would be easier than this? Not I. But this is long-term health as opposed to a temporary fix. For this, and my new kidney, I am grateful, if grumpy.
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